Although each faith has its beliefs, there are common values that many faiths tend to share. Examples of religious values include:. Work values include such things as your philosophies about your job, your finances, and how you spend your money. For children, these values include how they approach school and their education. Examples of work values include:. Moral values are your individual values about what you think is right and wrong.
Moral values provide the foundation from which you make decisions. Morals are learned from your parents and your experiences.
Examples of moral values include:. Recreational values refer to anything that involves fun and play. Recreation is important in the family because it fosters closeness in the family, opportunities for learning, creating memories, improving social skills , and developing empathy. Examples of recreational values include:. Sitting down as a family and coming up with a list of values can seem like a daunting task.
However, know that there is not one right way to come up with your list. Start by calling a family meeting and getting input from each family member. Know that it may take several meeting sessions to get all the thoughts down. However, in the end, you'll have a list that truly reflects your family. The following tips should help you develop a list that you and your kids can stand by:.
Although every family's list of values will be different, the following is an example of a family values list:. Family values tend to be reflective of the culture and time period and can be seen shifting throughout history depending on the environment.
Traditional values tended to emphasize the extended family unit when more families were living and working together. With modernization, family values can be seen shifting to an emphasis on independence and development versus togetherness. As society becomes more technologically advanced, the family values will change to reflect that on a cultural level.
When families worked together prior to the Industrial Revolution, there was more shared time together and most likely extended family lived with each other or very close by to make their work life more convenient. Post Industrial Revolution families had the option to be more spread out and independent from each other, thus shifting the emphasis on the extended family system unit and welcoming in the nuclear family dynamic.
Traditional versus modern gender roles can be reflected in society and have impacted family values. Many women were once encouraged to stay at home and raise families while men went out into the workforce. This notion has drastically shifted as both men and women, regardless of having children, are able to have jobs as society has normalized women in the workforce. During the rise of the nuclear family, men and women were encouraged to raise children that reflected the perfect nuclear family.
Television, ads, and consumer products reflected this societal drive. This atmosphere put a strict adherence on gender roles and rigid sexuality. Gender fluidity and sexual fluidity is much more accepted in society today, and the culture and family values may reflect that. Creating family values based upon acceptance with an emphasis on learning can help create a more open and loving familial environment where everyone feels accepted; whereas the nuclear family era certainly did not encourage that on a large scale.
Your family values can be changed at any time, especially if the goal is to create an environment of inclusivity. Family values can be selected by the parent or parents, or children can also be included in making the decisions if they are old enough to participate. There are multiple steps you can do to discover your family values. Then once you identify what they are, you can write down the values and hang them in a common area in your house.
Kids fighting? Refer to your values. Are your kids saying mean words? Refer to your family values. You just said something out of line to your husband? Refer to your family values on how to make a correction. Kids want to go serve at the homeless shelter? You keep having a desire to check social media? Kids want to have friends over? I think you know the answer by now! Remember, this whole identifying your family values process can be ongoing as your family dynamics change and everyone grows older.
Add family values to your family meeting agenda get one for free here! Here are some bullet points to discuss under the topic of family values:. If your family never went through this practice of discovering your family values, write down ideas and words that you feel like emanated your childhood. For example, when I reflect on my child and teenhood, my family ate dinner together around the table every night so family time was a strong value.
I had to call my dad from a payphone every location I went to after a football game so safety was another value.
Think about the things you did and the advice your parents gave to you while you lived with them. Have everyone yell out what you do together as a family such as play games, go to sporting events, camp, hike, etc. Then, focus on what the kids are allowed to do on their own. Recently, we let our kids make their own decision to switch schools that would be a better fit for their personalities and the way they learn. From that decision alone, we could see that our values are self-sufficiency, creative education and spontaneity.
Find one you like and tweak it to fit your values. Figure out what you do well as a family and other areas where you could improve. You can download here when you sign up or my newsletter!
The easiest way to do this is to use a list as a reference. I created a free printable with lots and lots of values to choose from that you can download. In the download, there is also a sheet where you can write down your values divided by categories. When looking at multiple lists of core and family values, I kept noticing that they fit into categories. Once you have nailed down what your family values are, either type them up or write them down on the printable I made for you.
We hang a lot of these types of things on our command center in our kitchen to have easy access and visibility. Besides writing them down and looking at them, make sure you are living your values out daily. Refer to them often and allow them to shape your kids. Here are the 4 steps to defining your family values. Check your email for your download! You can also download it here: Family Values List and Worksheet. If you want your kids to respect you and others, start by instilling a value of mutual respect — everyone respects everyone.
The idea is to show your kids what it feels like to be heard and considered, so they can do the same for other people including you. An ability to roll with the punches is an important part of dealing with unexpected events in life like, say, a global pandemic.
April Brown, therapist and founder of The Heard Counseling , suggests including flexibility or adaptability as a value to help your family adjust to change. To make positive strides against issues like systemic racism, kids need to understand the basic concept of fairness — and to see it modeled in everyday life at home.
Froyen suggests emphasizing fairness in simple ways — for example, when your kids are playing with toys, make sure everyone gets a turn. Sign up for the Fatherly newsletter to get original articles and expert advice about parenting, fitness, gear, and more in your inbox every day.
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